Well, I think the 1841 I found is the same family as the 1851 and 1861 you posted first. Mainly because Rachel is there in 1841 and 1861 and a lodger (with a Thomas family, possibly relatives?) in 1851.
Who is the main character for your ex's tree? Thomas, b early 1830s? I guess all you have that's 100% for him is a father on his marriage cert and post marriage census stuff?
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 Merry
"Something has been filled in that I didn't know was blank" Matthew Broderick WDYTYA? March 2010
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