Contacting the adoptee
 

A friend's cousin has recently died. Said cousin had a baby put up for adoption. When the child tried to make contact, she was repulsed.

Now the friend would like to welcome the the child into her birth family, but has no idea how to go about it.

Does anyone have suggestions?

If she has contact details then it's fairly easy - a simple letter (rather than an email) should do it.

If not, does she at least have the new name? Facebook is the place to look, in that case!

If neither, it's going to be more difficult and expensive. Birth relatives do have some limited rights now but I understand the process is ponderous and costly.

There is a website called, I think, Missing You. A message on there might help.

OC

PS - the above advice is in the knowledge that the adoptee has already made contact and would therefore welcome an approach. My advice would be different in other circumstances.

OC

How long ago did the adoptee try to make contact?

Did the cousins have other siblings, children who might know more.

Does she have any contact details of the person adopted - new name, address, phone number - if not then I would contact the adoption agency if known and explain the circumstances.

Was she contacted through someone else is also an alternative avenue ie aunt, relative etc.

As Kite says there's also the adoption register.

These days there's also the DNA route - my cousins daughter has just done a test which popped up on my son's matches yesterday; I know her so was quickly recognised.

Thanks for the ideas, folks.

I know nothing of the adoptee, but I suspect that my friend knows very little either. I'll pass on your suggestions.