To tell, or not to tell

[Phoenix]

My ancestor, Mary Tuck, was the daughter of William Tuck and Margaret Copeman bp 1696 in Sharrington, Norfolk

She married William Bangay in Stody in 1719.

They had two children, then William died in 1722.

Mary remarried. I know this as she and her daughter by her second marriage, Margaret Davy, are both mentioned in William Tuck's will.

I and my cousin have DNA matches with both Bangay and Davy descendants. None of their trees link up, because Margaret's baptism has not been spotted by the Davy descendants and Mary's second marriage is not online.

As anyone who has had the joy of using the original records knows, there are masses of Norfolk records missing from the online data, particularly pre about 1740, when the ATs are still very patchy.

Do I contact everyone? Do I sneak the info onto my own tree and see if anyone finds it? Would they believe it?

[kiterunner]

I think I would contact people if their trees suggest that they are interested in researching their trees properly, and I would add it to my own tree so that others can find it if they look.

[Phoenix]

Most of the Bangay side have slapped a convenient (wrong) date of death for Mary and the Davy side have not looked in the registers for Margaret's baptism, which is hidden in plain sight.

I have put up Margaret's baptism, and shall await events.

[Phoenix]

Well, I've put up more than anyone deserves, but given that the Bangay side show poor Mary dying on her wedding day (not quite sure how she managed subsequently to have two children!) they'll probably think I'm wrong.

[Kit]

I've seen a "man" who was born, married and dead by the age of 6. Anything is possible.

[Olde Crone]

Kit

I can beat that! Born, married, died by age 4. No one can show me the marriage but everyone knows it is correct because she is on so many other trees.

OC

[Kit]

Clearly we have very special people in our trees. Fortunately for me he didn't have children.

Sadly I can't marry his wife off to someone more age appropriate.

[Kit]

Phoenix back to your question - put up what is accurate. It is the only way a genuine researcher is going to be able to contact you. If you both sit there and keep it to yourselves then you wont ever find them.