Seriously stuck! Update - letter from 1859!

[KiwiChris]

I am trying to work out what happened to Robert Charles Lucas Reay and his mother Marianne.
Robert was baptised 10 July 1839 Whitchurch Shropshire, son of Rev Charles Lucas Reay and Marianne (Draper on the baptism on Family search - middle name or surname?).

There are a number of online family trees that give the marriage of Rev Charles and Marianne as 17th May 1834 Wolvercote, they all have the same date, but her surname varies, Cook, Essex and Draper. I cannot find that marriage at all.

Charles Lucas Reay was vicar of Swanbourne Buckinghamshire 1838-1841 and left for New Zealand later that year. I cannot find them on the 1841 census and they should be there somewhere!

Rev Charles Reay died in New Zealand in 1848 and his wife and son returned to England, and then the son Robert came back here in the mid 1860s and married and died here.

Charles was born 1810 Oxford and he did his degree in Oxford, and was ordained there in 1834, so it fits that they married there. I have no idea what he may have been doing in Shropshire in 1839 though when the son was baptised, because he should have been in Swanbourne. He was curate in Lincolnshire from 1834-1838.

Can anyone see Robert and his mother in 1851 and 1861? And if you can find the marriage so I can get a maiden name that would be fantastic. I suspect that she may have been married before she married Charles which could explain some of the name mix up.