Sadly, we think that the 1861 census for James and his first wife must be among the 5% or so (?) that were destroyed, as I've not been able to find anything despite extensive searching, and my relative has spent years trying to find it - even searching local archives around the country.
The 1861 census record would help us to confirm who his first wife was, but I am not sure it will ever be found.
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Eighteen -- Hadleigh, Suffolk; Reading, Berkshire
Hendry -- Ballymena, Antrim; Glasgow, Lanarkshire
Wylie -- Ballymena, Antrim; Glasgow, Lanarkshire
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